an all embracing darkness
except the building my mother has just died in
holds fast to its lime green stain and every window
clasps a yoke of yellow light.
The bag they bring is black, a bleak gray scar
runs down it. My mother, packed up like a suit.
It lifts my feet from the ground, the hair off my skin.
And then the zipper hums up the track, up, up
to her half-open eyes, her slack jaw already
packed, then a click and a buzz and the suit’s ready
to go, to go where?
Onto a gurney clattering to the back of a van
waiting on the asphalt where I watch like a tree
with its bark burned off.
Beyond the door, a chamber of a deeper black
than the one outside.
This is my most unforgettable night,
the most howling of all nights.
Not knowing what comes next,
Not knowing what comes next,
no God to turn to.
My mother hurtles through the blackness
of infinity.
My mother hurtles through the blackness
of infinity.
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