What is around me

What is around me is absence. 

It is all around here everywhere.

It is in our bed, it is on the couch.

All around is my need, my want, 

this deficiency. 

What is around me is fear,

what is around me is strange and quiet. 

I wait for his cough, the zipper on his vest, 

the thud of his brush in the drawer.

I hear it all clearly, the absence,

the loud absence of his voice calling: 

El, Going to the kitch? 

Bring me a peach. 

All around me the smoothness, 
the grayness of absence. 

I fall asleep with the absence of husband 

and in the morning when I awake

there it is, smooth and grey and silent,

all around me, I see he is not here.