Friday, August 5, 2016

Avert your eyes

when they open the door 
keep your arms to your side. 
keep your face clear.
keep silent. 

when you stand by his bed
don't ask what was done, why his teeth are blue, 
don't wonder where his blood went, 
why his cheeks look so defeated. 

stifle your cry 
when you look at his hands,
when you see your gold ring, 
just look once, look hard, 
then look away. 

don't take this day with you. 
leave it there. 
remember how it was to hold this man.
let that fall on you like snow
let it turn in you as winter. 


I always knew where to go 
and where I had to be.
I knew north, I knew 
north and north knew me. 

North was always waiting 
for my call, was glancing at the clock 
up on the wall.

North was always waiting,
always thinking, where 
where where could she be?
Was thinking she was due 
and I knew it too. 

I knew it too when 
it was time to go 
and I knew where to go 
and I knew what I knew 
was true.

No more of that now. 
no north I mean, 
no stalwart point of light 
to hold me fast,
no knowing that, 
no knowing all I knew.

But I do not travel blind now, 
I move from here to there. 
I know where to go 
and where I have to be. 

I know it all from memory.